Her soul cycles have been dualistic in nature. But, she found a certain balance in her duality instead of flip flopping between extremes and that seemed to help. But then that balance needed to be maintained. Then the soul was dealing with a new more insidious duality on top of the other one ~ the duality of her success or failure over the maintenance of her first duality.
She was proud of herself when she succeeded, and unforgivingly mad at herself when she failed. That itself often became another duality on top of her stack of already oppressive dualities. My soul did not know how to stop this oppression and was so easily triggered because of an underlying root cause the soul alone could not see and uncover.
But, she was given a Sanctuary where she could begin learning how to let go of this battle inside of her. Jesus' Perfect and Unconditional Love told her first that she is loved just as she is, and then slowly and gently woke her up to the Remembrance that revealed to her that she is more than what her soul was forced to believe she was.
There have been so many incremental deaths and awakenings that have needed to occur within my soul for the preparation of what was to come. And now, even the soul can see that there is really only one death and one awakening that forever cracks open the soul and leads the soul beyond herself.
The first lie inflicted upon the soul is the last to be undone. Through the Power of The Spirit, that lie needs to die for the soul to fully embrace the truth of her Original Identity. Those dualistic cycles and battles that came to define her soul were falsely imprinted upon her when she was first shamed into believing that she was less than Who She Truly Is. As a little child, she did not have the Wisdom yet to denounce the lie.
But now, not only does the awoken Inner soul have the Strength to see through the lie, she also remembers her Spirit Who has never been changed by the lie in the first place. It was the soul that was forced to forget her Spirit with that first shocking molestation and oppression of her soul. And then, lies upon lies reinforcing the first lie continued to tell her she was unworthy of ever being truly loved.
I wanted this lie to die so that there was nothing left of it for my soul to come from. But for that to happen, I felt like my soul had to die too. The two were so immeshed since early childhood, and so my half sleeping/half waking Inner soul was so afraid... thinking that she was the one who had to die.
But Jesus gave me a Safe Place within me to gradually discover what the coming transformation would reveal… it is only the death of outer soul who came to believe in the lie and “live” according to it, not the death of the Innermost Soul who is the Spark of The Divine Within. For the Innermost soul, this death did not mean death, but Resurrection to My Original Spirit.
I was entering into the Blueprint of Transformation, already given by The Beloved ~ the death and resurrection that was already completed to show me the way. So, I could intuitively trust to surrender into this Divine alchemy without fear. It is the Gnosis of Divine Love, not death. The cross is about reclaiming our Eternal Dignity.
The Eternal Parent stepped into the realm of forgetfulness, and into harms way, and took on every lie and the big lie throughout history, to offer a Safe Place of complete transformation to the Children of Eternal Light so they could Remember Who They Are, and return to The Oneness of The Spirit.
And now, coming to the other side of the death of who I never really was, I can See where the Resurrection has brought me… back to Eternal Mind of Spirit ~ The Already and Always.
The Innocent Child, both before and after the infliction of the lie, get to rejoice together, because her Inner soul, now One with Her Spirit, realizes the Absolute Truth… what is dead (the nature of the outer soul) has always been dead, and what is Alive (the nature of the Inner soul in Spirit) has always been Alive.
The dead are not alive, and the living will not die.
Jesus ~ from saying 11 in the Gospel of Thomas
The kingdom is inside you and it is outside you.
When you know yourselves, then you will realize that you are known, and you will understand that you are children of the living father.
Jesus ~ from saying 3 in the Gospel of Thomas